Ask Cass: Boundaries and Why You Should Have Them

Cassidy Kenney 

She/Her

Columnist

10/23/22

What should I do if my boyfriend has a girl best friend that doesn’t respect our relationship and has no boundaries?

For starters this should be a conversation with your boyfriend telling him how this is making you uncomfortable. When it comes to relationships, there should always be respected boundaries between the two of you. 

In most cases boys tend to be a little more oblivious to these things so don’t feel crazy bringing it up if it is a real concern of yours. Depending on your relationship with the girl you could try talking to her as well but sometimes those conversations don’t go as planned, so start off by talking to your boyfriend and see where that goes.  

I can’t seem to make friends here. Everyone seems to already have their group of friends and I never feel fully included. What are some other ways I can make friends on campus?

Try talking to people in classes and just be friendly. It can be scary to talk to new people but don’t feel intimidated. Most of my friends that I met freshman year I met in the dorms just by saying hi and talking to them. Just remember you are not the only one feeling this way and sometimes you just need to go out of your comfort zone.

If I’m just in a talking stage with someone, is it okay to talk to others?

It depends on the severity of the relationship. If you guys recently started talking and no boundaries have been set then there’s no problem with exploring other options as long as you’re doing it respectfully. If you guys have not put any labels or had the conversation of being exclusive there shouldn’t be anything wrong with that. 

However you feel if you really like the person then have a conversation with them about taking things further. If you’re both not sure yet, then there shouldn’t be any problems.