“How to rizz up a PSU woman” and other advice from a she/they with a mullet

Amanda Newman

She/They

Columnist

9/25/23

Q: “Where are the parties at”?

It really depends on what you’re looking for. When I was a freshman, I had a group of friends and we would just raid the streets at night, walk down Winter Street or really any street with the apartments and just follow the loud music and LEDs. Just watch out for the Plymouth State Stabber. You’re not always guaranteed to get in, especially as a lame freshman. A lot of houses might not like that unless you’re cool and talk them up. 

You can wait for our infamous Pirate Party where campus hooligans validate getting drunk at 7 a.m. and raid the streets as pirates, or walk around Halloween weekend and find parties that time of the year. You can always go to sorority parties too, but it can be hard if you have a lot of guy friends, a lot of them tend to have sexist ratios needing 2 or 3 girls for every guy in the groups they let in. It’s almost as if they think they are going to flirt with all of the girls in the ratio, but I think they could just want distribution too. Dorm parties are really where the memories come in. Getting ready for parties with your favorite girls and goobers and pregaming and listening to music sometimes is just the better option. Sometimes the stumbling giggly walk to and from parties is better than the party itself. Don’t get too discouraged though, most of them are underrated. Just have fun with friends and make your own parties. I guarantee you can throw a better gathering with better music that isn’t just Taylor Swift.

Q: “How do I rizz up a PSU woman”?

1. No catcalling as it is degrading and demeaning; no one finds that attractive
2. Catch them a compliment whether it’s their hair, their style, their jewelry, or just tell them that they are glowing today. Don’t go for basic comments, there are too many other boring people who are like that, there are a lot of people on campus you gotta catch them off guard.
3. Bring up a hang-out plan, don’t just say: “Oh we should hang out!” Be like: “Are you busy let’s go get coffee, D-Hall, or work on that homework in the library.” Make solid plans.
4. If you are at a party, tell her she’s the coolest girl there
5. Bring in an icebreaker, and ask a question: “What is your favorite type of bagel?”
6. Represent an interesting hobby. There are a lot of lames out there.

Q: “What’s something I can eat at D-hall that won’t destroy my communal bathroom”?

Dhall is notorious for the way it makes our bowels feel afterward. Just like a majority of the foods we eat it is highly processed so it can be easily preserved, and not to mention all the salt causing you to feel so bloated after. Their breakfast won’t really hurt you, if you can at least get out of bed to make it to breakfast, that wouldn’t kill you. Anything your momma makes that would cause you issues would probably cause you issues at dhall so I would avoid that. We all love Mexican food but personally, it is a pass for me at dhall. I really enjoy their fruit and salad bar. It is all organic and homegrown, and I always forget they have a ton of stuff for sandwiches. If you don’t love all those healthy options, I don’t think the grill has ever treated me that bad, they have plenty of add-ins to dress your burgers and dogs.

Q: “My roommate keeps playing music really loudly, which would be annoying in itself but what is worse is that she has no taste whatsoever. What should I do”?

If you want to make friends and set healthy boundaries you could always leave a post-it note with your Snapchat or social media on there, meet them, and put a little bug in their ear about some better music choices, and share your favorite artists. Maybe talk to your neighbor about when you need quiet time to do homework and figure out some boundaries that work for both of you. Not everyone is that forward and social, if you want the problem to be solved but don’t want to be a part of the issue you can knock on your floor’s CA and let them know your complaints, and they will do the confrontation for you. But be mindful that everyone wants to hear their music sometime during the day and not everyone is as fortunate to have good taste as you. You can always find an alternative place to study where it’s quiet whether it’s upstairs in the HUB, the library, the laundry mat on the main street, or the cafe. There are quiet spaces to go to get away from your rowdy dorm buildings.